by Lindsay Zoladz
(in response to the New York Times article Off the Stripper Pole and Into the Movies)
Now, let’s get one thing straight: I love a good ex-stripper success story as much as the next person, maybe even a little bit more. I like all three of Kathleen Hanna’s bands.
And another thing: I’m well aware that the Oscars are not gospel. Any awards show that feels the need to stroke Paul Haggis’s ego on a yearly basis is not exactly a bastion of cinematic integrity.
Even so, I hereby declare that I will weep if Diablo Cody wins the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay for her script for Juno. And notice I didn’t say “shed a tear” or even “whimper.” Clearly, I’m not messing around.
I saw Juno in August at the Telluride Film Festival. No one could stop talking about how great it was, so I went to see what all the fuss was about. I tried to like it. The laughter from the audience was so overwhelming! The smiles from the people around me were so genuine! And yet, nothing — not my love of the Moldy Peaches or my somewhat inappropriate crush on Michael Cera — could make me like this movie. By the midway point of the film, I went from passive dislike to active hatred. I wanted everyone around me to hate it too. If I could have figured out a way to negate their laughter, to scowl so hard that I could have scared them into keeping their mouths shut, believe you me, I would have. But it was pointless, and besides, the theater was pretty dark. It was clear that everyone except me loved this film and that it was going to be a big hit.
Juno is a film about a fast-talking, quick-witted 16-year-old (played by Ellen Page) who gets pregnant by her geeky boyfriend and decides to give the baby to a local family that desperately wants to adopt. The style in which Cody wrote the dialog sums up everything I don’t like about Gilmore Girls: the rapid-fire dialog is so witty, so rife with obscure metaphors and clever wordplay that it is downright excruciating. People don’t talk like that. People are not that clever, and maybe they are just not meant to be, because I kept thinking that if any of these people who were laughing at the movie knew Juno in real life, she’d irritate the hell out of them.
Now, it’s pretty common knowledge that at least 50% of the good people of the Academy are stuffy old curmudgeons that really have no idea about anything (citation needed). And if this film gets nominated for Best Original Screenplay or any other awards, everyone is going to think, “Wow! This truly is the voice of a new generation!” just because it is aching so hard to be young and hip. And there will be no dissenting voice in the room to stand up and say, “Don’t you guys get it? There is nothing genuine about this film, it’s just Jason Reitman and Fox Searchlight’s way of cashing in on the ‘quirky pseudo-indie dramadey’ trend in a post-Little Miss Sunshine world.”
I am also well aware that talking about the bastardization of indie culture is beating a long, long dead horse. After all, everybody knows that the Internet killed indie culture (so, via law of syllogism…thanks, Al Gore?). But just the same, hearing Moldy Peaches songs in this over-stylized, glossy, Hollywood production parading itself around as an “indie film” makes me want to puke.
Still, here we are on the eve of Juno’s nation-wide release, and I am fully prepared to be the only person who feels this way. I am prepared to meet the bewildered looks and the “WHY didn’t you like it’s?” and the deluge of Juno quotes coming soon to a Facebook profile near you. And yes, I am fully prepared for the undeserved nominations come award show season. Almost.
In conclusion, I guess this whole thing is just personal, because I’ve always dreamed of writing an award-winning screenplay and only now do I find out that I could have just as well been making mad cash stripping this whole time and not wasting my time and money in film school.
14 Comments
December 5, 2007 at 5:24 pm
You are far from the only one to feel this way.
The trailers alone make me want to chew off my own mouth.
There will likely be a minority of Juno haters, but we will all huddle together under the eaves and pray for the rain to stop.
December 17, 2007 at 3:22 am
I can understand why you, being a film student, would feel so bitter about the fact that diablo cody went from stripping to writing so easily but it doesn’t make it a bad movie. It sounds more like jealousy than actual hatred of the film. I haven’t seen Juno, however, so i can’t comment on if it’s great or not, I just wanted to comment on a few points that seemed out of place.
Jason Reitman, of all the directors in the world, should not be targeted for profiting off of what you call a quirky pseudo-indie dramadey trend. He started out on commercials and short films until he won numerous awards for “Consent” in 2004 and “In God We Trust” in 2000. Out of most anyone directing film today he is one of the last you should be yelling at for “cashing in” on a trend. You should be directing your endless wrath at Zach Braff for the atrocities he committed against film with “Garden State” and “Last Kiss”.
Yell all you want at Fox Searchlight, however, for not being “indie”, a term that i think died with the creation of Garden State, as they are definitely not an indie company. However, this doesn’t mean that they don’t produce quality films. Films like “The Full Monty”, “Boys Don’t Cry”, “The Last King of Scotland”, “Sunshine” etc etc etc too many to name. These are important films in many ways. Just because they were made by a large company doesn’t mean they’re terrible. These are movies that wouldn’t have been seen by anyone besides seven people in a seedy NYC theatre if it wasn’t for the distribution power of larger, yet more independent companies.
December 17, 2007 at 4:35 am
sweet jesus
December 17, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Justin –
I can understand your defense of Reitman, and I don’t think he’s one of the worst offenders in that category (that honor probably does go to Zach Braff, let’s be serious). Maybe I was unclear in my post, but what really gets my goat about Juno is the way it’s being advertised as some sort of low-budget independent film, when there’s actually a ton of money behind it (Wikipedia lists the production budget as $25 million, not to mention however much money is propelling that nauseatingly ubiquitous ad campaign). And as a film student interested in things outside the mainstream, I think it’s awful that these are the standards that people are setting now for independent film, especially since everybody is heralding the advent of the DV age as some sort of rebirth for independent film. Most people would consider $25 million a low-budget figure, and to me that’s the sign of the bastardization of indie culture more than anything else. I never actually said that independent film was dead (And I’m definitely not saying that a big budget automatically means that a film will be bad!), but what I’m trying to say is that the layman’s definition of independent film is seriously warped right now. Holding independent films up to a standard that expects them to be funded with millions and millions of dollars is ridiculous, that’s all I’m sayin.
December 17, 2007 at 7:51 pm
This is a much clearer post and i can understand what you’re upset about. The indie label, as it has in music, has changed as industry execs discover what kind of cash can be made by labeling movies as indie.
I still believe that Juno is truly an independent film, however, as it seems to have many of the characteristics synonymous with the “indie” tag. I am happy that movies like this are being made. That scripts like this one are being written by people like Diablo Cody. It’s interesting and not normal and boring. It’s true that people don’t talk like that in real life but thats why its a movie. It wouldn’t be interesting otherwise. It would be 8 minutes long or just a documentary about a teenage girl who gets pregnant. Great.
People don’t always talk like they do in movies like Juno, Superbad, Knocked Up, Brick, Wes Anderson films etcetc but people don’t want to watch and listen to the same shit over and over again or movies that are too realistic in terms of the dialogue. Its just boring to have that all of the time. Of course, I haven’t seen Juno so maybe this is a script that goes way overboard in that respect, I am mainly just going off of how people who watched movies like Brick reacted, “TEENS IN HIGH SCHOOL NEVER TALK OR ACT LIKE THAT.” Fuck that. Thats just terrible.
January 1, 2008 at 2:26 am
I just stumbled upon this site after googling some diablo cody stuff, and I just wanted to say that you’re not alone. I ‘m 30 (going on 19), remember seeing a rough cut screening of Bottlerocket in 1995-6, and I loved it. Since then, everything indie is indie for indie’s sake, so to speak. Even Wes Anderson, who’s so brilliant…I just don’t enjoy his movies anymore. THey’re all like a caricature of sorts, and it’s like, okay, we get it dude, they’re in funny outfits. ha fucking ha. the yellow jumpsuits in Bottl. became blue ones in Life Aqua. Beyond that, Juno was irritating because it had a 16-year-old making Soupy Sales references, when I’m 30 and barely get them. I’m fine with stylized dialogue, but Tarantino changed everything with that sort of thing, yet his dialogue was still natural. The point is, the Rainn Wilson character isn’t supposed to say the same thing that the girl at the abortion clinic does. “This is one diddle that can’t be undid Homeskillet” vs. “We need to know about every sore and score.” There’s a diff. between talkinglike people talk, and having stylized dialogue. Diablo Cody has talent, sure, but it’s so unharnessed. In fact, a friend just turned down one of her next scripts (to direct it), and it’s not about jealousy. I have a hot script that’s circulating to major talent, and it’s guilty of some of these very things. At times, yes, all of the characters speak in the protag’s voice, which is obviously my own voice. That’s not good. But there is also a lot of *natural* dialogue along with the “indie” stuff as well. This girl is being held up as the most surefire Best Original Winner in screenwriting *history*, and that’s ridiculous.
January 1, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Where do you guys go to school? I want in.
January 11, 2008 at 5:14 pm
You are not alone. I just saw the film last night with my boyfriend and we were both equally pissed off. I’ve been looking online today to see if ANYONE reviewed it unfavorably and I’ve found practically nothing. The thing is – when people do put it down – they talk about the stilted dialogue and “indie” cool factor… No one is talking about why this film was put out by FOX and why it’s such a big hit and I’m really surprised no one has noticed: It’s a creepy pro-life movie disguised as an indie film. There isn’t a genuine moment in it and it seems to be screaming, “See! You can have your baby and bring people together and still have a boyfriend and get on with your life! Pretty soon you’ll back on your bike, guitar strapped to your back, playing cute songs with your nerdy boyfriend…” Horrifying. The film had a moment where it could’ve become interesting if the Jason B character hadn’t left his wife but rather Juno did in some effect change in their relationship (I’m grasping here but like you I wanted to life it).
January 24, 2008 at 1:31 am
Holy christ this was the worst movie I’ve seen in a really long time. Seriously. I can’t remember the last time I saw such a terrible movie… maybe it was that time I took a shit and filmed it floating there in the toilet. It was like that except that also in the toilet with my shit (for no apparent reason) was an Alphie II toy, a Fisherprice record player and a bunch of pro-life propaganda.
January 29, 2008 at 6:55 pm
I think a lot of people are just bitter because they spend thousands of dollars on film schools, colleges and whatever else, assuming that they will be bounds ahead of the average person (ex. a stripper, waitress, clerk) just because of their education. When Diablo Cody, the eccentric sex addict from the mid west, was nominated it outraged hoards of people. Most of them just bitter because they are still working a shitty nine to five in their stuffy cubicle.
Regardless of being envious, I’m happy for her. She’s another “one in a million” that went from low class to A-list before the age of thirty.
And everyone knows deep down that no school can teach you how to be a writer. If you’re good, you’re good. It’s something you’re born with.
Honestly, in the kindest way possible, if you all aspire to be directors/screenwriters, why are you not punching out your script instead of bitching on this blog?
January 29, 2008 at 10:35 pm
OnYX, if you had taken a moment to look over the rest of this blog’s content, you would quickly discover that we do more than criticize films. We make our own. Yes, we’re still learning. Many of us are only sophomores. But we think that we’ve made some noteworthy progress. Just watch our most recent short: http://killfilmstudents.wordpress.com/2007/12/21/short-premiere-shady-kids/
January 31, 2008 at 8:12 pm
ATTN: GOLENHOURPICTURES (Wow I feel like an internet nerd)!
So I watched your film. The beginning almost bored me so much that I shut it off, but I gave it a shot and kept watching anyway. After all, I do live in the plastic jungle you and I call Los Angeles and hate the fact that most agents/producers/whatever only read the first ten pages of your script and judge it from that. Back story isn’t always entertaining, but necessary none the less.
However I must say after I watched the second youtube clip on the link I suddenly became interested. The end was brilliant. Everyone knows potheads like ‘em. Nice job.
So you guys write, produce and film your own stuff?
February 9, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Diablo Cody has won the WGA’s original screenplay award for Fox Searchlight’s “Juno”
ps. i still hate you
February 22, 2008 at 12:10 am
[...] that Gilroy has the best chance of upsetting Diablo Cody’s almost inevitable victory, and we all know how I feel about that. On the bright side, I think this is the first time there have been more female than male nominees [...]